Developing Self Esteem

There are many ideas about how to develop self esteem. Most of them
focus on surrounding yourself with positive experiences, hanging out
with great people or flooding yourself with good "self messages."
These all have merit, but they are all superficial and they all fail.
In order to change self esteem, you first have to understand its genesis;
that is, its beginnings. You have to unders… Continue

Improving Self Esteem

Most people think to improve their self esteems by doing fun things, by
hanging out with "up" people, by feeding themselves with positive thoughts.
Improving self esteem is much more complicated than one might think.
You could surround yourself with great people and activities, and for a
short time you might feel better. Then, the activities subside, and
you're left with you. Most people feel… Continue

When we think of children who have been sexually abused, we think of fear, anger and violence. Most sexual abuse survivors talk of the terror and disassociation surrounding the abuse. Many still feel that way as adults and don’t enjoy sex now, even in a loving relationship. But there are those who have a more complicated story to tell. These survivors may have hated their abusers but experience an unspeakable shame over the fact that their bodies responded sexually to the abuse. They cannot live… Continue

When clinical trials compare the effectiveness of different therapeutic schools and approaches, the results are very interesting.

Many studies have concluded that the difference in effectiveness between psychological therapies is minimal, however, when you examine the data* it’s clear that this result is produced by the mean and that there are clear differences in effectiveness between different therapists, regardless of which therapy they practice. The way an individual therapist practices is… Continue

You’ve met the person who makes you feel so special. It feels wonderful to be in love and now you are married hoping that this relationship will last your life time. Years have gone by and marriage has been good to you - so you thought. You begin to notice some different behaviors from you spouse which at first you ignore. For awhile you begin to wonder if something is going on but you brush it off. After all, the last thing you could ever imagine is that your spouse is having an affair. You don… Continue

Dr. Eileen Borris' Quiz

Each of the following ten questions can be answered with either a "yes" or "no." Take a minute with each question and answer it with the answer that best describes you most of the time.

1. Do you feel that some of your important needs are not being met in your relationship?

2. At times do you feel that you aren't connecting emotionally with your spouse/significant other?

3. Would you like to imp… Continue

People with mental illness alone are no more likely than anyone else to commit acts of violence, a new study by UNC researchers concludes. But mental illness combined with substance abuse or dependence elevates the risk for future violence.

"Our study shows that a link between mental illness and violence does exist, but it's not as strong as most people think," said Eric B. Elbogen, Ph.D., lead author of the study and assistant professor in the forensic psychiatry program at the University of N… Continue

"My mind is like a bad neighborhood. I try never to go there alone."
~Ann Lamont; author
Depression stinks. No doubt about it. Having treated dozens of individuals with depression over the years, while reading countless books on the treatment of this "noonday demon", I still believe that the number one factor that really enables me to get to the heart of this malady is my firsthand experience with it. That's right. Not only am I a psychotherapist, I am also a bonafide client as well.
Depression… Continue

Therapy methods abound. But what will work best for you? Here's a list:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Emphasizes the role of thinking in how we feel and what we do. CBT stresses the fact that thoughts, rather than people or events, cause our negative feelings. CBT is a structured collaboration between therapist and client and often calls for homework assignments. Brief and time-limited, CBT includes rational emotive behavior therapy and cognitive therapy.

Eclectic
Many practition… Continue

When you are reading this, you will recall some of the pleasing and delightful behaviors that drew you to each other during courtship, or which were practiced during some happy times or even in crisis times. Select from this list, or one of your own, two or three cherishing behaviors you might be willing to practice.

-Call me during the day and tell me something pleasant.
-Ask me how I spent my day and for a few minutes give me your undivided attention.
-Fix the coffee in the morning so we can… Continue